It’s 1am. The house is dark, cold and you wake me from a deep sleep with your cries. I shuffle to comfort you, check your nappy, find your dummy, give you cuddles.  Baby, you win. 

I settle you and try to leave your room. As I leave, you cry. I give in and give you the bottle we are trying to cut out. Baby, you win. 

You drift into dream land, milk drunk and comforted. As I place you into your cot, you stir and begin to cry. So I sit by your cot and hold your tiny hand. Baby, you win. 

Everytime I try to let go, you get upset. I lay next to the cot on the uncomfortable floor just to keep you company. Baby, you win. 

In the silence of the evening, by the glow of your night light I see your beautiful eyes staring at me. Your little fingers wrapped around mine. In that moment I realise that I am actually the winner. I’m the only person that you want and need. The person you cling to when your frighted, sick or need comfort. I’m your mummy and I am the winner.

Sleepless nights with babies seem endless, but they are fleeting. Take a moment to appreciate the small moments……then pour some coffee and get on with your day. 

Rachelle xx