From the moment you see the two pink lines (or digital 2-3 weeks pregnant) flash before your eyes, your life changes in so many ways. You read books, Google and dowload apps that compare your bundle of joy to the size of fruit and vegetables. These resources also gloss over pregnancy symptoms – nausea, weight gain, being uncomfortable, varicose veins etc…..but that’s it, they kind of just gloss over them. While not everyone has the same pregnancy problems let me tell you the truth about a few of mine:
▫ Sweating – this was one of the first symptoms I noticed. It started early on and stuck around the whole time. I was hot and not in a sexy way. In a overweight, sweaty mess kind of way.
▫Le chocolate royales – by chocolate royales, I mean nipples. One of my friends ans I constantly joked about these. Your once pink or peachy colour nipples go a shade or ten darker. Obviously something in preparation for breastfeeding (and they do return to normal). Yet, it’s still quite a shock when you realise your nipples looking like chocolate royals sitting on top of white veiny (sore) mountains.
▫Veins – see above post regarding the veiny white mountains. You chest and pretty much most of your bits resemble a road map. Veins appear that you never knew existed.
▫Hair growth – some women report amazing thick luscious hair during pregnancy. My hair certainly got thicker, but I wasn’t able to enjoy it as I was too hot and sweaty to have it hanging around. Plus, I was too busy shaving my legs and armpits that seemed to develop some sort of 5 o’clock shadow situation. All my hair was growing and it was growing fast, I felt like a Kardashian sister (pre all the laser hair removal) it was intense.
▫Leakage – Things leak, no one warned me that colostrum can leak prior to your baby being born. Both pregnancies I had leakage issues from around 20 weeks, that’s halfway. Basically I spent 20 weeks using breast pads and trying to ensure that my leaks remained undercover. Compleatly exhausting when your already dealing with all the sweat and extra hair growth.
▫Heart burn – I never really had heartburn before I was pregnant. By the end of both my pregnancies I was skulling mylanta like a champion and wouldn’t go anywhere or eat anything unless I had a supply of chewy quik eze on hand. Water was giving me heartburn, eating quik eze was giving me heart burn. I would awake at 3am feeling like my stomach was burning in the depths of hell and all I could do was sleep sitting slightly upright (not comfortable when your already being kicked from the inside)
▫ Pointer sisters – oh yes, in addition to your chocolate royals. Your nipples get extremely pointy. I could have given directions, dialed a phone or danced to Stayin’ alive with mine. They take a bit of getting used to and just as you begin to embrace your finger nipples, they are back to normal.
▫Hickie – you may have heard of people being hangry (hungry/angry). Well when you’re pregnant you have a new feeling I like to call ‘Hickie’ (hungry/sickie). It’s the feeling where you’re not sure if you’re hungry or feeling sick or both?!?!
▫ Swelling – everything swells and puffs. I only put on 12 – 14kg with both of my pregnancies. However things still ‘puffed up’ cheeks, fingers, breasts, hoo ha. Your thighs begin to rub together and whisper sweet nothings as you walk. Your boobs are BIG, and not Hollywood plastic surgery big. Kind of swollen to the point that the cleavage resembles a butt crack.
While these little pregnancy gems do not sound pleasant, they pretty much go back to normal once you have your bub. If they dont, who really cares. As long as you’re baby and you are healthy this is a small price to pay. It’s always good to be prepared, know what can happen and have a laugh. The one thing you will never be prepared for is the love you will feel when that little baby is placed into your sweaty, hairy, puffy arms. All is forgotten!