How is it possible to miss someone you’ve not even met?

My name is Kelly. I’m a full time working wife and mumma to a beautiful almost 2 year old boy, and another little boy due at the end of May. Recently, I spent the night in hospital with gastro and dehydration. It was an awful experience! My first pregnancy was plagued with bleeds, hospital stays, threatened premature labour and an eventual emergency C-section 3 weeks early. Up until the point of my recent hospital stay, I was feeling pretty happy with myself and incredibly blessed, that this pregnancy was cruising along, drama-free. So needless to say, as I lay in my hospital bed, as sick as a dog, I shed a tear of self-pity..

My amazing husband must have realized this so he sent me a photo of himself and my son, smiling into the camera. It immediately warmed my heart to see my boys there, smiling for
me! But at the same time, instantaneously, I was hit with a realization. There’s something missing from this photo. Or someone..

Of course cruising through this pregnancy, like anyone, I’ve been filled with excitement and anticipation at the thought of meeting our newest family member. But it wasn’t until this point that I realized, this little boy growing inside me, is already so much a part of my family, that I feel like he is a missing member, like a missing body part!

As much as I absolutely love my boys, I couldn’t help but feel like this photo was incomplete.

I couldn’t help but feel like all my boys, were not in the photo!

I finally recognized the feeling of had a few tunes recently, when my boys and I were doing quality family things, feeling so happy, yet feeling like something was not quite right.. It’s because I’m missing my second son before he’s even breathed his first breath!

Man, that’s a powerful love! A mother’s love!

So as I lay in my hospital bed looking at the photo of my boys, I started to feel a huge sense of excitement… In a couple years’ time, I would be able to look at a very similar photo of not one, but two little boys, excitedly clamouring over daddy, smiling into the camera at a photo they know is being sent to mummy.

It fills me with so much excitement, and so much love!

Hurry up little bubba D, your mummy, daddy and big brother miss you, and can’t wait to meet you!

IMG_534127 weeks

Kelly – @working.mumma

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    Kelly Dernehl