Guest Blog – The question everyone can’t wait to ask

So, you have started a family and your little one is starting to grow up and become a little bit more independent (well as independent as a toddler can be) and everyone starts asking – when are you having the second one? For me it is always an awkward question to answer and I often respond with a vague ‘we’ll wait and see’ or ‘we aren’t too sure’-but the truth is, we have been trying for over 6 months and nothing has happened. For those of you who don’t know me personally, falling pregnant with Hunter took quite sometime, and with each unsuccessful month it made me feel miserable and wonder what was wrong with me. All my friends and colleagues were getting pregnant within a month or two and here I was waiting each month with trepidation, hoping to take a test and see those 2 little lines appear. After months of trying, I became convinced that something was wrong, so my husband and I underwent a barrage of tests with the only thing being discovered was that I had borderline Poly-cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) but that it shouldn’t impact my fertility. As luck would have it I fell pregnant the following month and the rest is history…..

Knowing all of this, I had presumed that it would also take a little longer the second time around, but had also been told that once you have had one baby, falling pregnant the second time is often easier, and I had secretly hoped that this was the case. Again after months of disappointment I spoke to a doctor and was told that the uterus can change position after childbirth making it hard to conceive, or that there was such a thing as ‘secondary infertility’. This really got me thinking about why we were trying for baby number two, Was it because it felt like it was the next step? Was it because we had hoped that they would be closer with a smaller age gap? Was it because watching Hunter grow and develop has made us forget the newborn stage? There were so many reasons both for, and against, that it can make your head spin! Then I delved deeper  – Was it fate that my body wasn’t blessing me with a little brother or sister for Hunter? Was it the fact that some days I can barely deal with one child, let alone another? Was it because adding another baby in the mix would stretch our family too thin both emotionally and financially?

There really is never a perfect time to start, or add to your family but after much discussion my husband and I we have decided that there is no need to rush, and our future is already be written one way or another. We have decided to put our baby making plans on hold for the time being, to focus on the present – and simply enjoy the times that having only one child can bring. Who knows what the future holds, or how big our family is destined to be but for now, we are just going to focus on the gorgeous, inquisitive, and healthy little man that we have already been blessed with. So next time your curiosity gets the better of you and you feel the urge to ask someone about their baby plans, be aware that there might be more to it than meets the eye, and your innocent question may have a much bigger impact than you ever intended.




One comment

  1. Loved this and it is something that annoys me with our society that people think they can ask these questions and they have no thought to what may be going on. Perhaps you’ve miscarried, can’t get pregnant, made a decision that isn’t the path you aren’t going down, etc. I am one of the lucky ones and fell pregnant with my son early but I have also seen the other side through family and friends. I still can’t believe how perfect strangers feel they can question whether you are adding to the family or not. Are we adding to our family we still don’t know the answer to that we will see what each day brings.
    thank you for writing about this.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s