Why do mums always talk about coffee?

As I sit here at 7am on a Sunday morning scrolling through my Instagram feed I see beautifully prepared breakfasts, people up and at em’ exercising. I too have been up for hours, however it is not so glamorous.

I was woken at 3am by my sweet little girl who for some reason thought that that was a perfect time to soil her nappy and then cause a ruckus about wanting it changed. Of course, I changed her and then since the light was on she thought it was party time and didn’t want to go back to sleep. After susshing, rocking, patting I gave in around 3.30am and got her a bottle (knowing she would then sleep a little longer in the morning).  Ahhhhh, silence.

I return to bed to find my dog sprawled accross my side of the bed like Miss September. After shoving her back to the end of the bed, I finally settle back to sleep……Nope. It appears someone has fired up their old rusty tractor next to my head?!? Oh, no. It’s actually my husband. Who could sleep through a zombie apocalypse and can perfectly imitate a jet fighter with his nose. He has actually mastered snoring when he breathes in and out! I lay there for an hour or so punching, kicking,  considering a move to the couch or getting out to get some earplugs. I finally give in and pop some ear plugs in.

It’s close to 5am and I finally drift into dreamland. Only to be woken at 5.36am by Mr two (almost three) who has climbed into bed with his toy shark. I tell him to lay down and go back to sleep. To my surprise he actually does, I begin to drift off ….. {Enter the loud tractor noise from daddy/husband’s nose}. My son sits upright and yells ‘ohhhh daddy piggy, shhhh daddy pig’. He finds the snoring very entertaining….. I don’t. Mr two decides he is awake now and begins to poke, prod and kick me to get me to get up. He starts to ‘whisper mumma toast, mumma juice’ in my ear.

At this point I am 100% sure my husband is awake but ignoring everything going on and hoping I cave and get up. It’s like a mexican stand off, whoever is harassed the most and makes the first move is the one who has to get up and misses a small Sunday sleep in.  After 45 minutes of creepy toddler whispering and Mr two putting his fingers in my nose, ears and tugging my hair. I cave…..I can’t handle it anymore. I get up, get him breakfast and make coffee.

We have been up for an hour, Mr two is starting to get cabin fever and wants to play. My husband is still snoring and I am already on my second coffee (considering a third) so I have the energy to go play dinosaurs.

So, there you go. That’s why mums are a little koo koo and always talk about drinking coffee.  Enjoy your weekend sleep ins and lovingly prepared smashed avocado people. I’m so tired, I just ate a Tim Tam while hiding in the pantry.

I must go, my daughter just woke up and my son is in the pantry trying to climb the shelves to get to the Tim Tams that he heard me rustling about eating earlier 😣😩.

Have a good Sunday!!

Rachelle xx

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