Two year olds are like tiny drunk people.

When I was thinking about having children, I really only ever thought of the baby part. The newborn, cuddly squishy stage.  I never even considered the two year old stage. If you dont have children or you have a new baby and you’re wondering what your two year old will be like. Just imagine living with an unreasonable drunk person.  Here are some examples of why:

* They are emotional. Happy and scampering around one minute and laying on the floor screaming the next.

* Their requests are often not reasonable.  Like having a bath but wanting to wear a shirt or wanting to be carried but not wanting to be touched?

*You will often have to remove car keys from their tight little fists and remind them that they are unable to drive. Often ending in crying or some sort of emotional reaction.

*There will be falls and trips.  They are still unsteady or try to do things that their little bodies can’t handle. This is also accompanied with spinning around until they get dizzy then, trying to walk while giggling hysterically.

* Food is often thrown around like confetti.  They spill food, poke at it and if it doesn’t please them, will simply fling it at you or toss it on the floor.

* They believe pants are optional and often enjoy a nudie run.

* To them, catching the dog and attempting to ride it around seems like a good time.

* There are often poop or vomit incidents without warning.

* When your out in public they get in the way of other people,  yell, fall and don’t listen. My son often tells random people to ‘stop’ or ‘sssshhh’ while they are just going about their business?

* They don’t care if anyone sees them picking their nose or with their hand in their pants.

* Pulling toilet paper off the roll and flinging it around is one of their favourite things to do.

* They will attempt to put underwear on their head or shoes on the wrong feet.

*They find bodily functions (burps, farts) absolutely hilarious.

* They often repeat themselves or just do the same thing over and over.

* They may fall asleep at the table, under the table or in the center of the floor.

* There is no filter. Comments like ‘mummy yuk’, ‘phheeeew stinky’, ‘you poo poo’ are completely normal.

* They don’t understand personal space and will lay all over you, touch your bottom in public, point out jiggly bits and pull hair.

Having a two year old (and also an infant) definitely keeps me on my toes. One thing for sure is I’m never short on entertainment and even though he is like a little whirlwind, his cuddles are the best. Cherish the moments with your little cooing newborn as before you know it you will feel like you’re living with a tiny Lindsay Lohan or Charlie Sheen.

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Rachelle xx


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