If someone asked me to describe motherhood, the image that pops in my head is a little hampster running in a wheel. A stressed, guilt ridden, sweaty little hampster. I love being a mum, seeing my children smiling and learning new things is one of the best feelings in the world. Yet, everyday I walk around with a ball of guilt in my stomach. Am I doing enough? Are they healthy ? Do I work too much? Is everyone happy?
Being a working mum adds a whole new level to the guilt, people always tell me they are only small once, so of course I feel bad leaving my babies while I work. However, I want to be able to help provide for my family and I believe working gives me a purpose and makes me appreciate the time I spend with my family.
Then there is the balancing act of ‘quality family time’. My husband works 6 days most weeks, this leaves one day to spend together. Add everyone’s birthdays, catching up with friends and extended family. Again you are on a never ending cycle of trying to keep in touch with everyone, while trying to see each other and spend time just as a family.
I try to be as organised as possible. Somehow, no matter how organised I am since becoming a mother it’s never enough. I could stock up with my sons favourite snacks from the supermarket to find that the next day he no longer likes them and wants something else. Clothes can fit one day and by some sort of magic your child will be bursting out of them like the hulk within 48 hrs. Sit down to relax thinking all the washing is done and then all of a sudden there is some sort of vomit or nappy leak and off we go again, scampering on the never ending mummy wheel.
Throughout all the feelings of guilt, on days when I am home with both kids I find myself looking at the clock wondering when it will be nap time so I can stop performing like a member of The Wiggles and actually get some things done around the house or perhaps take a shower and do my hair!
Motherhood is like juggling a thousand balls a 24 hours a day. From the minute your little person is placed in your arms everything changes and your world becomes a lot less about you and all about them. I have learnt that I will never be 100% organised and some days nothing will get done. Why? I’m just one person and I’m human. Take a break mama, put your feet up, jump off the hampster wheel even if its just for 15mins. You have earnt it!